Do I Still Have The Right?

I’ve told them a million times that I’ve missed them, and honestly, I do. If this is so, why does every time they held a gathering, I am always unable to attend? Every effing single time. I would either be busy with my college classes, or I have no transport, or I’m at my aunt’s place or I’m not in the country. Either way, I would always miss their little gathering. No matter how hard I tried ransacking my brain trying to figure a way out, somehow our schedules have become like enemies. This is just unfair. I feel as if I’m playing with our friendship even though I don’t mean to. I feel as if I don’t deserve them since they’ve always tried to meet me and have always said they miss me, but all I could do back was just say I miss them back. Our homes aren’t even oceans apart, so why is it so hard for me to meet them.

With that said, do I still have the right to say I miss them?